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el Loco Gringo

Rides Again

Going Sideways

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“I may be crazy, but everyone else is insane.” – el Loco Gringo

Going sideways is more than just a parlor trick to gain an entrance to the sub-conscious, It is a philosophy, a world view, a way of life. It is taking the path less traveled, pushing the envelope, reaching down inside yourself to pull out a greatness you didn’t know existed. To be more than you can be. To know that when you die the world will be a better place because you have lived in it. To witness the judges face when, after spending 3 days in jail for calling an asshole judge an asshole, you can say, “I wasn’t trying to insult you your honor, just informing you of a fact, no more, no less.”(one of the other inmates commented “Jesus, you called the judge an asshole? All I did was rob a convenience store. You bad, man.) Priceless! Knowing that I always tried to do the right thing, even when no-one was watching.

To know that no joke has been un-laughed at, no road un-traveled, no adventure un-taken, no joy un-celebrated, no sorrow un-mourned, no friend abandoned, no victim of injustice un-defended. To be proud of your children and doting on your grandchildren. To be able to pass on family traditions, like teaching him to write his name in the snow. He even crossed the t. I’m so proud. How to make that disgusting noise under his armpit with his palm that women hate. How to burp the first 12 notes of the “star spangled banner”. My daughter says I’m a bad influence on them, but she smiles when she says it. To hear her quote me to her kids, word for word, what I told her as a child.

Reading Ayn Rand opened my eyes to an explosion of opportunity. In my myopic male viewpoint on life I had been sniping assholes for years. With her female viewpoint a myriad of opportunities opened up. I can go after them all. In one swell foop.

So many assholes, so little time

Life is Good

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Epiphany Express


I board the Express at Birthville. As I grow, I learn of the various marvels of the different landings along the way, the promises and perils thereof and how to deal with them. When I disembark at whatever landing appealed to me I find that I have just left the Jesus saves car. As the express pulls out I notice that there are many cars. Allah is almighty, Buddha brings peace, I’ll make you rich They’re all heathen, of course, we learned that in the Jesus saves car, we know the TRUTH. Maybe the landing we chose meets our expectations, or…………….., maybe not. If not, we may decide to try another landing, perhaps traveling in a different car. There are more people getting off than getting on, the passenger list continues to shrink. The brave among us may go through the door between the cars labeled FORBIDDEN. The reckless may wander the length of the train seeking the real TRUTH. I go to the front of the train to find out who’s driving this thing. I open the door marked TABOO. It is me. It is truth. I look back, the cars have been decoupled. It is MY truth. We are alone. We understand now that we will never reach Epiphany, there is only the journey. – el Loco Gringo

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Looney Lowdown

A case study in the development of a defense mechanism

From an early age I realized I had superior cognitive abilities. I was quick to point out the logical and factual errors in the conclusions of others. (I used to get whipped a lot as a preschooler). I learned to keep my opinions to myself. Later, in school, I had the same problem. (I used to get beat up a lot by some and shunned by others). I called the former assholes and the latter idiots. A third type (Some of the adults) were comfortable to be around but I couldn’t hang around with them. I would later call them centered. By the time I reached high school I began to run into centered students (must be a maturing thing). These were viciously castigated by the idiots and assholes and tended to do things like join debating societies and chess clubs. (I joined the CAP) I did a lot of talking to counselors and psychologists. They were all idiots. I began to realize that people, in general, are bipolar (in the sense of the word before it got polluted by psychology) and expected responses in a yes/no, stop/go black/white pattern. By using a third unexpected response (going sideways) , I could side step the question. For instance if shown a picture of a half full/empty glass of water and asked if it was half full or half empty, I would respond “it’s twice as big as it needs to be”. This would cause a few seconds confusion in everyone, the idiots or assholes (I would later call these zombies, the brain eating living dead) would change the subject or go away, the centered would merely think it peculiar. PERFECT, I can avoid assholes and idiots (zombies) and still converse with the centered. It works to this day. In the military I am still running into a bunch of psychologists. (special weapons) still idiots. I ran into my first unlocked-centered person (a term I would use much later) in Germany. I wish she could have spoken English, or I spoke better German. I had met my first peer. Up until then I hadn’t even considered the possibility that there was someone else like me. I thought I was a mutant or something. In fact, I wasn’t crazy, the world was crazy. I was one of the few sane people in the world. It was depressing. After leaving the military, I started to realize that if I kept talking after the sideways it would sometimes affect the thinking of the other. Strange. If the words were front loaded, sometimes the 3 second window of opportunity could be kept open. i.e. if you could only get one word through, what would it be? what about the second, and the third? Oddly enough, it doesn’t seem to matter if the sentence makes grammatical sense. I began to be approached by people with the essential message “I hurt, heal me” So I did. I refined the QD fix and inserted some sage wisdom. (Wisdom is, by nature, simple, a meme, if you will). I’m probably 30 by this time. I dislike doing this unless strongly invited. It’s an invasion of personal space. Like walking in on my secretary while she’s hiking up her panty hose, I don’t care, but she does. It would be immoral of me and un-ethical of a psychologist to insert a meme with the intent of altering a persons thinking. Nothing wrong with inserting something for them to ponder so that THEY can re-consider adjusting THEIR defense mechanism. I began world wide traveling, mostly in Latin America. I preferred the cantinas. My Spanish is limited to “senorita, dos equos, undele, undele”. Even here the centered could spot me. Bizarre. I re-encountered one of these who affectionately hollered “Hey, loco gringo” and waved me over. I like it. I’m el Loco Gringo. These centered were protective of me, walking me back to the hotel because of the “mal hombres”. I rather like the idea of being crazy. It adds a certain panache to one’s persona don’t you think? like having a scar on your face.  “The scar? Just an old dueling scar. That’s why I hate these “first blood” matches, he had to leave himself wide open to score and I could have skewered him.  More chardonnay, My dear?”

If I wrap a perfectly valid ((if unorthodox) think hoochie-koochie) concept in crazy, I find the idiots can’t get past the crazy and go away. A non-idiot however is like a kid on Xmas morning. He can’t wait to discard the wrapper to see the treasure inside. Works perfectly, idiots go away, and I can talk to the non-idiots.

I’ve always been crazy – Waylon Jennings My Way – Frank Sinatra

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el Loco Gringo

“Professionalism is a character flaw” – el Loco Gringo

The eloquent and erudite professor emeritus el Loco Gringo will share some of his many observations on life. Self-proclaimed as the foremost (and only) expert on the innards of the mind, a living legend in his own mind.  Other topics include philosophy, sex, psychology, finance, government and politics.  A unique outlook on psychology,  insights into emotions, a cynical view of government, and mind enhancement.  You can free your mind from the chains imposed by society, religion and education.  Assholes can click through, everyone else is welcome.  View the world through the eyes of a Bipolar Manic/Depressive.  Please feel free to challenge my concepts, I may have incomplete data and my wetware is reprogrammable.  And I love an intellectual brawl. I’ve tried to arrange this in some kind of order but everything is happening at once and it’s all interrelated. I will introduct the concept of bottom up thinking.   View the categories as chapters and the pages as pages.

“Yea, I walk through the valley in the shadow of madness and I fear no evil, for I am the craziest SOB in the valley” – el Loco Gringo

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