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el Loco Gringo

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Going Sideways

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“I may be crazy, but everyone else is insane.” – el Loco Gringo

Going sideways is more than just a parlor trick to gain an entrance to the sub-conscious, It is a philosophy, a world view, a way of life. It is taking the path less traveled, pushing the envelope, reaching down inside yourself to pull out a greatness you didn’t know existed. To be more than you can be. To know that when you die the world will be a better place because you have lived in it. To witness the judges face when, after spending 3 days in jail for calling an asshole judge an asshole, you can say, “I wasn’t trying to insult you your honor, just informing you of a fact, no more, no less.”(one of the other inmates commented “Jesus, you called the judge an asshole? All I did was rob a convenience store. You bad, man.) Priceless! Knowing that I always tried to do the right thing, even when no-one was watching.

To know that no joke has been un-laughed at, no road un-traveled, no adventure un-taken, no joy un-celebrated, no sorrow un-mourned, no friend abandoned, no victim of injustice un-defended. To be proud of your children and doting on your grandchildren. To be able to pass on family traditions, like teaching him to write his name in the snow. He even crossed the t. I’m so proud. How to make that disgusting noise under his armpit with his palm that women hate. How to burp the first 12 notes of the “star spangled banner”. My daughter says I’m a bad influence on them, but she smiles when she says it. To hear her quote me to her kids, word for word, what I told her as a child.

Reading Ayn Rand opened my eyes to an explosion of opportunity. In my myopic male viewpoint on life I had been sniping assholes for years. With her female viewpoint a myriad of opportunities opened up. I can go after them all. In one swell foop.

So many assholes, so little time

Life is Good

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  • michael j contos  On April 26, 2010 at 5:49 pm

    e loco,

    When Philadelphia Common Pleas Court Judge Brinkley questioned me in front of an ADA (assistant district attorney) and my supervising attorney she called into her robing room, she asked me if i had, indeed, called her a “Bitch.”

    “What I actually said, your honor,” looking her in both eyes, “was that you were a “Goddam Bitch.”

    The judge accused me of sexism, claiming that I would never had said that if she was a man.

    “If you were a male judge, I’d call you a prick.” I said in all honesty.

    Needless to say, I was removed from her courtroom where I served as public defender and someone more to her liking, I guess, replaced me.

    Had a lot of fun trying cases with her up until that point, and felt that most judges would relish such a description — kinda showed they were “hard-nosed,” and isn’t that what the public wants out of judges today?

    michael j
    Never called one the a-word.

  • ellocogringo  On April 26, 2010 at 8:11 pm

    I’ve noticed that myself, whenever i inform someone of a negative character trait they have, all the love seems to get sucked out of the room rather than being accepted as the loving advice I intended. Like the goon said in “pulp fiction” “You better develop a personality bitch, you ain’t always gonna have nice tits.” alas, we are so misunderstood.

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