The Rectal Rocket

You may be dreading that Colonoscopy you’ve been scheduled for. Somewhat uncomfortable, embarassing, and loss of dignity.  But they can be fun, certainly a lot more fun than having your asshole rot out.  Just be thankful that they invented the colonoscope. The previous procedure was quite painful.

Just relax and keep your sense of humor.  (Do you really think you can embarrass an enema nurse?)  Whatever you do, however, do not piss her off or she’ll give you a jalapena enema.  Do not draw attention to her studded leather dominitrix getup or pierced eyeball. You just need to remember a few lines. “Ever had anyone explode?” “I’ve never done this before, who goes first, you or me?” “Same time next tuesday?” “Do you recycle that stuff?” “Gettin kinda personal there, ain’t ‘cha lady?” Put the gown on backwards, of course, or tie it up the front and put it on like a sweater. (Loudly)  or “Any body else while I’ve got my pants down?” Or maybe, “where can I get one of these things?” or “you know I really hated that… first”

Barium Enema
Major clue; Contrary to everything I have seen about it, and even from the nurse and doctor, it wasn’t particularly uncomfortable. (except for that damn gown, you ought to advise patients to do without) That tells me my proprioceptors got fritzed by the statin. Also the ones on the bottom of my feet. That’s why my walking is kind of mechanical. no one seems to know much about the topic. Proprioceptive stimulation is the buzzword. a couple of good possibilities are;
The one by Bourdiol seems better. Army studies show a positive effect. The first is a proprioreceptor bowel retraining program for patients with spinal cord injuries. Did you get that video on epigenetics? i’ll bring it in

Also a good site;
ColoRectal – Bowser & Blue   Colonscopy – Lou Rawls

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